Land Before Tuesday
by Hedgi
Summary: "Cisco, please tell me that's not a baby triceratops." It is a baby triceratops. It must be a Tuesday. Crack fic drabble. (five times having a pet dinosaur was cool/weird/exasperating and one time it saved everyone's butts)
1. Chapter 1

It was a strange day, even for a Tuesday in Central City. A large hole had opened up in the sky, not unlike the Singularity, and rained down some glowing stones, a few uprooted and battered trees, bits of brick and building parts, half a car, and apparently-  
"I couldn't just leave her out there, she's a baby," Cisco said before Barry or Caitlin could say anything. The main crisis averted, Barry'd returned to STAR Labs from patrolling, and Caitlin from the local hospital, volunteering her skills. Neither were prepared for what they saw. Neither spoke, only gaped. Barry wondered if maybe he'd hit his head; Caitlin simply wondered _why.  
_ "Um…you can stop staring at me like that," Cisco offered, waiting for a reaction. He'd honestly expected….anything but silence. _  
_They were too busy staring at the tiny creature cradled in his lap to say anything. Finally, Caitlin found her voice.  
"Is that a…Cisco, please tell me that's not a baby _triceratops."_  
"Can't, because it is." Cisco grinned at the scaly peach-colored lump.  
"Where?" Barry asked faintly, rooting around for a calorie bar. "Where did you find it?"  
"She," Cisco corrected. "I mean, I think she's a girl. Over on….Porter? Near Magnolia. I was heading for shelter from the glowing rock things and she was just… there. Crying. I couldn't just leave her, she'd die! Or get snatched up by some super shady for-profit lab or military group, or get hit by a truck."  
Caitlin looked at Barry. Barry looked at Caitlin.  
"Cisco….we don't even know what Triceratopses eat." Barry offered.  
"Treestars, duh."  
"Be reasonable," Caitlin tried. "You live in an apartment that won't even allow hamsters. It's a dinosaur!"  
"I'm gonna call her Cera," Cisco said, adamantly. All the sudden movement and talk seemed to have woken the baby, she blinked large, dark eyes, eyes more closely resembling a deer than anything else, and let out a yawn that was half mew, half squeak.  
"Oh," Caitlin breathed. "She's…"  
"So cute." Barry finished, sighing, as Cisco looked on at his armload with the adoration of a new father. "I'll go find some leaves and…stuff. Um. Ferns? Maybe?" they all shared a look, it wasn't as they they could google "what to feed your pet triceratops" and get serious answers. Cera didn't notice, squealing more and craning her head to look around her. As Barry raced off, Cisco cooed at her, and Caitlin sank into a chair.  
"Nothing I say is going to convince you this is a bad plan, is it?"  
Cisco debated trying, but just shook his head. "Nope."  
"Fine," Caitlin sighed. "Oh God, it's going to be like Jurassic Park."  
"But with less death," Cisco said. "No T-rexes, or oversized velociraptors. Wanna hold her?"  
He didn't give Caitlin a chance to hesitate. Caitlin squeaked at how light she was, and how warm, and Cera looked up at her. Caitlin rubbed her stubby horn, and the tawny creature leaned into it, making a soft churring noise.  
"Welcome to the family."

* * *

Inspired by a headcanon chain with Cr1mson5thestranger, me, and Patriotproblems on tumblr. Also by a childhood watching Land Before Time movies.


	2. Chapter 2

No longer a oneshot! oh lord. This is gonna be six chapters (basically, 5 times having a pet dinosaur was cool and the one time is saved everyone's butts) five hundred words a section limit. we'll see how this goes.

Cover art by Uber-mouse on tumblr! Thank you for the fanart!

* * *

"Cisco, are you sure that's a good idea?" Barry asked, looking from Cisco to Cera and back.  
"She gets bored in here. She's a dinosaur, not a, a house cat." Cisco countered. "Besides, she's gonna get big eventually, I don't think I can keep hiding her in my apartment and sneaking her here in a duffle bag."  
Cera tugged at the end of the leash, a snug dog harness looped around her. She blinked up at Cisco, Barry, and Caitlin, titling her head winningly.  
"And anyway," Cisco continued, "It's not like people aren't getting used to weird stuff. She's got her tracker, and I've got you on speed dial if anything happens, but we need to go for a walk. She needs to see the trees! The wind in her, uh, scales."

Her skin was rather scaly. Caitlin had been fascinated, and Cera had put up with the blood sample, and the examining, though it had been decided that the limits were to make sure she was healthy, and try to understand how to keep her that way. Under no circumstances, Caitlin had decreed with icy steel in her tone, was STAR Labs going to pull a Jurassic Park or anything similar. Cisco had agreed.  
"Yeah, it's hard enough catching metahumans," Barry had winced. "I don't think I'm quite up to hunting down meta-velociraptors."

Cera was growing, rather quickly, from the size of a large cat to the size of a medium dog in only a few short weeks, and showed no sign of stopping. In addition to all the leaves Barry brought home from his runs and bales of alfalfa the owner of a stables had donated after the Flash saved his llamas from a fire, cisco had whipped up calorie supplements, which Cera ate happily. Nothing they'd fed her had made her ill, yet, though once she'd managed to eat half a bag of marshmallows. They'd found her covered in marshmallow stickiness, her mouth open in a flat-toothed grin.

Now, though, roaming the halls of STAR labs wasn't really enough, and twice she'd nearly gotten away from Cisco on the commute. Sooner or later the world was going to find out about her, and it wasn't fair to her to keep her locked away.  
"Fine," Caitlin sighed. "But be careful." She knelt down to rub Cera's neck ridge, and Cera chirped happily. "Both of you."  
"Yes, mom," Cisco joked. "We'll only be just down the street and back. Starting small."

Cera took off running as soon as they were outside, surprisingly strong. It took a heartbeat before Cisco was able to rein her in, but he didn't mind, chasing after her as she explored the STAR labs fence, short shrubs and fire hydrants, and peered curiously up at a crow on a lamp post.  
"Eeeerrrrk?" she asked, and when the crow called back, she hid behind Cisco's legs, quivering a little. "It's ok, Cera," Cisco said, leading the way back. "Just a bird. Maybe that's enough for today."

* * *

please review and give me motivation! work is long and boring.


	3. Chapter 3

And how about that season premiere? Dang, I am still in pain. So this is AU. Very AU. In case you hadn't guessed already. Oh, mention of religious nutjob types? Not bashing on religion, I'm religious. I just couldn't get the scene out of my head, of Cera meeting one of those "evolution is megafalse dinosaurs are satan-beasts" types.

* * *

Chapter three

Cera did not like busses, but she'd gotten too heavy for Cisco's bike basket, so until they figured something else out, she was stuck in his duffle bag on the bus to and from STAR. They'd need to fix that, too, because she didn't exactly fit anymore, and Cisco was starting to have a hard time convincing her to stay still for the 20 minute ride. They'd taken it as a sign that he needed to move. His apartment wasn't exactly big enough for the Triceratops, now roughly Irish-wolfhound sized, though much wider, and he couldn't leave her there.

Since "Doctor Wells" was technically dead, ownership of STAR Labs had defaulted to Barry, though his house had been left to "those employees still with the Lab, to be sold and divided up if need be." Clearly, the will had been written recently, he had to have know that that was just Caitlin and Cisco (and technically Barry at this point.) Honestly, the museum-like mansion gave Cisco the creeps, but it did have a big yard with lots of room and no nosy neighbors, and it wasn't like they were using it—Caitlin and Ronnie had found a house on the cheap across the street from the Steins.  
After work, he'd ask Caitlin to drive him over, see how Triceratops-proof the back yard was. And maybe see if he could temporarily forever borrow a STAR labs van, because there was no way he was biking from Wellsobard's fancy house to STAR every morning.  
"Eeerk?" Cera squeaked from the bag in his lap, uncomfortable and probably hungry.  
"Shhh, almost there," Cisco promised. As soon as they got off, he'd let her out and get out the leash. So far no one had really noticed, but honestly Cisco wasn't sure how long that would last. Another day? Maybe? Maybe a week if they were lucky.

They were not lucky. A familiar couple got on the bus and took the seats across the aisle from Cisco and Cera, talking too loudly for eight in the morning. Cisco shrank in his seat. He rode this line a lot when weather was bad. They spoke loudly and rudely about the government conspiracies, vaccines causing autism, that kind of bullshit. Today's topic was apparently "dinosaurs aren't real, Satan put the bones there as a test." Cisco glanced down at the bundle of triceratops and duffle bag balanced in his lap and snorted softly. The man looked over, glaring, clearly recognizing Cisco's STAR labs sweatshirt.  
"Nowhere in the bible does it say anything about—"whatever he had been abut to say was cut off as Cera poked her head out of a new rip in the cloth, and chirped a greeting, squirming out of the bag entirely. The bus went silent, staring, and Cisco mentally ran through every prayer and curse word he knew as the bus screeched to a halt. Caitlin was going to kill them.  
"This is our stop." Cisco and Cera bolted out the doors.

* * *

Huge shout out to Uber-mouse on Tumblr for the beautiful fanart, which you can see by going to Hedgiwithapen on Tumblr and searching"Land Before Tuesday" -super cute stuff!


	4. Chapter 4

Part four

They'd made a small attempt at keeping the secret, but really there was no way to keep a triceratops the size of a motorcycle hidden for long. Barry'd sped-read through some construction manuals. Between him, Cisco, and Firestorm, they'd securely fenced off Cisco's new backyard, and turned the massive living room/museum into Cera's living quarters, complete with a Dino-door that took up most of a wall and only opened for Cera's microchip or an identical chip in Cisco's STAR Labs ID.

The house wasn't nearly as creepy as it had been at first, since Cera's renovations and any attempt at fixing the had made the place feel much less sterile, and everyone seemed to take it in turns to spend the night. Cisco was glad for it. Still, he didn't want to spend all his free time there, and since a couple videos from the bus Incident had found their way to social media, what could it hurt? People'd find out sooner or later.

"Wanna go to the park?" Cisco called. Cera thumped her tail, and skidded over to fetch her harness from a hook by the Dino-door. Cisco scratched at her neck ridge and near the base of her horns. "That a yes?"  
"Eeehhhk! Eekkkhhhnnn!"  
Briefly, Cisco wondered if this was a Good Idea, but it was just a neighborhood park, and Caitlin wasn't there to stop them. He clipped the heavy-duty leash to Cera's harness and let her pull him down the walkway.

It was a nice evening. Birds were shrieking, and Cera shrieked back, giddy with new things to look at. The sun was out, there were children playing some kind of game….  
Or they were until they saw Cera.

Cisco expected them to run screaming, and froze. Cera tugged at her lead, not hard enough to pull him over, but enough to let Cisco know she wanted to meet the new people. There was a moment that could only be described as Deer in headlights, before one of the five kids raised his hand.  
"Mister? Is that a Triteratops?"  
"It's a Tri _cer_ atops, duh," a girl said. Cisco noticed that she was wearing a "Flash" tshirt.  
"Can I pet it?" asked another boy.  
Cisco found his voice. "Um."  
"I thought dinosaurs were dead," the first boy said. "Is it a robot?"  
Cera leaned forward again. Cisco shook his head. "Nope, she's real. And, uh, yeah. Dinosaurs are mostly dead, except for her. And birds, sort of. You can pet her, she doesn't bite. Slow, ok?"  
"She's so pretty!" the last kid squeaked.  
"No, she's tough."  
"She can be _both_." Cisco decided he liked the Flash girl.  
"What do you mean, birds?"  
Cisco settled into "blabber about science" mode as Cera accepted scritches and handfuls of grass. He wasn't sure when the Adult Supervision showed up, a guy who looked kinda like the dude in that Guardians of the Galaxy movie, but he left with new friends, an invite to Chris' weekend barbeque, and a very happy dinosaur.

* * *

I may still update tomorrow as well? not sure. This is easier to write than my other stories, and I need the distraction. Those of you who follow my tumblr may have seen my post, but basically my Aunt is in pretty bad shape and is in ICU. She was comatose yesterday, but has since woken up and been able to blink at us and vocalize. we're hopeful at this point, but it's still gonna be a chancy couple of days.  
but I need the distraction so who knows.


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five

* * *

"Ciscooooo," Caitlin drew out the last syllable of his name warningly, and Cisco looked up from his work table.  
"Yeah?" He asked, hoping there was a metahuman on the loose, or maybe Ronnie was trying to grill burgers with his bare hands and that was why she had the "why are the men in my life being such idiots" tone going. No such luck, her eyes were fixed on his latest project.  
"Why are you building a—is that a saddle?"  
"I can't keep the company van forever—well, I guess I can but gas is expensive—and Cera's huge now. My neighbors already know about her, and Iris and Felicity had to do all that damage control after the Bus thing….so I mean…"  
Caitlin glared at him, and Cisco rolled his eyes.  
"Caitlin, c'mon. It's not like I'm building her plate armor. Just a saddle and harness."  
"Just?" Oh, good, Iris was here too. Cisco rubbed his forehead. "How is that 'just'? Are you planning on riding her? Across the wide open prairies of We Are In The Middle Of Central City?"  
"Not you, too! Look, she doesn't fit in the van anymore, and we can't just keep her in the back yard, it's not fair to her! Barry'd back me."  
A whoosh of air followed. "What am I backing you o—oh sweet saddle." Barry went over to examine the dark, strong tri-polymer much like the Flash suit, well-padded and easily adjustable.  
"Barry, since Cisco won't listen to reason maybe your lack of common sense can get through."  
"I resemble that remark. But why? I mean, Cera's not exactly easy to hide, maybe showing people that she's not a threat would be a good thing?"

Cera sat, unhappily thumping her large tail against the ground, sending tremors through the nearby walls. Now roughly pony sized, though broader, she disliked the close, curving corridors of the main building, but the Garage was lonely, and boring. She wanted to go outside. Half-way to smashing open the garage door open, Cisco whistled.  
"Errk?" she blinked, her eyes level with his.  
"Hi, beauty. Please don't break the doors again."  
"Eehhhhk."  
"I know, I know. You're bored. We'll out Outside in a second. I wanna try something." Cisco grabbed the bundle of straps from the hallway. Cera shook herself, but allowed the buckles to be fastened. "Ok, stay still, let's see if this works."  
Cera clearly had far more patience than Caitlin, Iris, Henry Allen, and probably four saints. She allowed Cisco to climb onto her back and ride.

Two weeks later, when Cisco and Cera showed off how well they worked together, Caitlin threw up her hands. "Fine! Go!"  
The nearest Big Belly Burger was only five blocks away. Cisco and Cera pulled up to the drive in order box. "Hi, I'd like, um, two double bacon cheeseburgers and forty-seven salads."  
"Pull up to the next window, your total is—OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!"  
The salads ended up being free.

* * *

One chapter left after this! this was one of the first images I had for a follow up, back when I foolishly believed it would stay a oneshot...

My aunt is recovering. Still in ICU, and not much else to report. They think she'll recover, but it's hard to say for sure how soon, or how well. thanks for all the well wishes.

please leave a comment if you like!


	6. Chapter 6

Final section! Also an end to the 500 word limit

* * *

Part 6

Cisco had known it was a good idea. Barry had thought it was cool but impractical. Iris had asked if he was serious, but nodded after a moment. He hadn't exactly told anyone else because Caitlin and Joe would do that "what are you even thinking why would you ever?" thing where they didn't even need to say anything, but did anyway. Still he _knew_ making a suit of metal lined with hardened tripolymer battle armor for Cera would come in useful someday. Her horns were long enough now that she could theoretically do some serious damage if she needed to.

Of course that was theoretically, just like he could theoretically ride her at a full dinosaur gallop while she was wearing said armor, while carrying some kind of weapon and effectively using it. Theoretically.

Ok, so this was not the best plan, but as Cisco looked at the video feed he'd routed to his cell phone, it was looking more and more like his only chance. Worse, it was looking like it was the team's only chance. So Cisco offered up a dozen prayers to every saint he could think of in the situation, and crept to Cera's quarters.

She seemed to understand his urgency, shifting her weight—and she was massive now, nearly a year and a half since he'd found her—from foot to foot, and tossing her head. The light caught on her tapering horns just above her eyes, sharp as spears.

"Shh, Cera. There might be people sneaking around, they have to know we're not at home. I know we've never actually tried this but we gotta go save Uncle Barry and Auntie Caitlin, kay?" He reached for the armor, patterned after the trappings of War Elephants to give her mobility and protection. The straps secured, Cisco grabbed the EMP gun he'd built and tucked it into a holster built into the saddle, then reached for one of the modified police shields he'd been fiddling with. Hopefully it would protect him as well as it did cops. Shields weren't that complicated, right? Stay behind them, put armor on other parts of your body, hope for the best. With a last look, he seized something that might be useful as an actual fighting weapon.

He glanced back at his phone, trying to figure out exactly how many people had Caitlin at gunpoint and Barry on ice, before shaking his head and mounting up. A button press opened the secure door.

"Go faster," he gave the command for her second fastest speed, the only one they'd ever ridden at without an eventual accident. Following the map he'd memorized as soon as Barry's comm went down, Cisco guided Cera down the streets. Most people and Cars were smart enough to get out of the way, and Cera didn't even bother to challenge the crows that watched overhead.

The warehouse loomed, and Cisco braced himself, shield in front of his face and a long pvc pipe in one hand. "Charge, Cera."

Cera roared, a rumbling call that echoed in Cisco's bones, and smashed through the door as if it were made of damp tissue paper.

It turned out that the Super-shady military group had been prepared for Barry, for his speed, and phasing powers, and Caitlin's purse full of God-knows-what and her ability to pick locks with a hairclip. They were not prepared for a yearling Triceratops in battle armor, nor for her rider. The surprise was enough. Cisco slammed the pipe into one's neck as Cera tossed two others aside with a sweep of her head. Her tail took out a fourth as Cisco lay the pipe across her shoulders, drew the EMP gun and fired, rendering the leader's weapons useless. He ducked behind the shield. At least Cera's armor seemed to be working, hardly even dented.

Again Cera roared, and Cisco fired another EMP blast at a knot of soldiers standing far too close to Caitlin for comfort, though they seemed much more worried about the _triceratops_ than guarding the hostage. Cisco had been counting on that. "Charge," he shrieked, half giddy with adrenalin. Their weapons useless, most of them took cover, and those who dared stand their ground realized their error shortly. Cisco had also fried the freezer unit that had been containing Barry, and with the cold fading, it was only a matter of time.

"You think you and your freak friends scare me?" the leader—or Cisco assumed it was the leader, what with the slightly fancier uniform—snarled.  
"Kinda," Cisco said as Cera stamped closer, the tip of her horn grazing the man's neck. "I mean, super powers, superior moral code…Dinosaur…yeah." He swung the pipe again, knocking the man out cold.

Barry freed himself, looking around at the ragdolled unconscious forms of the soldiers who had gotten the drop on him and trapped Caitlin when she'd come to his rescue. Caitlin was sawing busily at the tap around one wrist with a hair clip, and Cisco was scratching Cera behind her neck ridge, his shirt dark with sweat but his face relieved.

"I'm not even going to ask why you had that already made," Caitlin sighed. "But thank goodness."

"Remember how I said impractical?" Barry asked, teeth still chattering. "I lied. That was awesome. Now let's get out of here before they wake up."

"I like this plan." Caitlin accepted the hand up, trying to get her balance behind Cisco on Cera's back. Barry grimaced, a bit too tall to ride, and waited until they were clear of the building before talking off, making sure to alert the police on his way back to STAR.

"Well, that was terrifying. Awesome, but terrifying," Cisco said as he removed the armor plates and saddle. Cera leant just slightly against him, and he pushed back with his shoulder. "You did a good job, Cera-Cerie. So proud of you." She churred, and he laughed.

Barry and Caitlin joined him, offering there on scritches to Cera, as well as a bale of alfalfa, which she scarfed down happily. Cisco couldn't resist.  
"I knew learning how to joust would be a good idea."

* * *

Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you liked this as much as I did!


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